The iPhone App store never has a shortage of useless apps. This week was no exception. Here are the top 10 useless apps for the week of March 22nd in no particular order:
SimpleLight
Everyone needs a flashlight app. This one comes with a slider for adjusting the brightness all the way from darkest black to brightest white. I guess no useless apps list would be complete without some kind of a flashlight application. Perhaps the variable brightness feature could be nice if you were trying to read something in the dark without waking other people up?
Current Price: FREE
That's What HE Said
The current two star rating in the App Store says it all. Who wouldn't want to drive their friends crazy making their iPhone repeat "that's what he said" all day long in annoying voices?
Current Price: FREE
"Awesome," huh? Well, there is a ball, I'll give them that. Pick one of the included sports balls or wrap someone's face from your photos around the ball and bounce it around. No, there's no hoop to put the ball through. No, there's no actual goal at all in this "game." You just bounce the ball around a little box in your hand. That's all. Really. Maybe you can make up your own game? Like, um...how long you can bounce your friend's head around a little box in your hand.
Current Price: FREE
Scare your friends! Tell them to pat the cute little kitty on your iPhone. Then laugh at them when the scary face gets them with a loud scream! I hope your friends aren't the jumpy kind that throw things when they are startled... Why does this one cost money?
Current Price: $0.99
Curious about how the US National Debt and US Gross Domestic Product change from day to day? Grab inferno, and watch our economy plumet. Or you could spend your time doing something useful and start contributing to the Gross Domestic Product. Bailout spending totals promised in a future version. Nice.
Current Price: FREE
LaughTracks is recommended for a "child up to about five years old" or an "exhausted adult." It seems to come with only three different laughter recordings. I'm not laughing because I actually took the time to download this and try it. There went a couple of minutes that I will never get back.
Current Price: FREE
Another one that we've seen before. Seriously, how many repeat apps are out there??? Burglar Alarm is an app that you run when you're leaving your iPhone out in the open where anybody can grab it (um...why are you doing that in the first place?!?!). Then, if someone jostles the phone at all, an alarm goes off. This version notes the fatal flaw right in it's description: "WARNING: The program will exit when the "home button" is pressed. This cannot be changed due to Apple interface restrictions." Well, it may thwart some 12-year old criminal, I guess.
Current Price: $0.99
The first review in the App Store is titled: "Who cares about Ian?" That about sums it up. The app seems to ask you a bunch of questions about some guy named Ian that you can't possibly know the answers to. It gives you as many chances as you need, though, so now I know that Ian played football in high school and his first car was a...oh, who cares?
Current Price: FREE
There are three buttons on the screen. One for "Um," one for "You know," and one for "Like." You push the button when your annoying friend uses each phrase so you can then point out how they say each phrase too often. Great, now I just need an app to count how many times the annoying user of Um-o-Meter is pointing out others' faults.
Current Price: $0.99
Okay. So do you see the cat, the ring, and the ball? You can toss those up into the air and they float slowly back down: just like in a real snow storm...if that snow storm is in a tank full of water. Oh, and the cat walks around sometimes, too. Yup. At least the clock in the background actually tells time. Now you can keep track of how much time you've wasted.
Current Price: FREE
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